Lesbian Turkey Day!

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Is it because of the food?? Absolutely. But it also has a little something to do with family. Thanksgiving is family. Not just blood family - world family. 

What? What's that? "World Family" sounds hoaky, cliche, and ultra lesbian????? EXACTLY. 

Let me explain.

This Thanksgiving, my family is away. Back in August or September, my Dad said, "Hey, I'll pay for you to go to Calgary or to Olympia for Thanksgiving, if you want." And I said, "Great!" And then I thought about it - Thanksgiving in Canada is in October - so no one would be off, and I'd just be celebrating for myself, and that's just awkward. Olympia was where I spent Thanksgiving in College - I LOVE Thanksgiving in Olympia. However, I wanted to be able to share it with my monkey (since it IS my most favoritest holiday - I was serious). And then, I started wondering who ELSE was around .... 

And I thought of my ex, Lara, who wasn't going to home to the Mid-West. Me, Liz, and Lara for Thanksgiving. Then I discovered my oldest friend in the world, Crystal, had no place to go on Turkey Day, and I invited her too. Crystal's NOT a lesbian, but she might as well be. On an off-chance, I thought of my good friend Josh, who's from Colorado, and doesn't usually go home for the Holidays. Would he like to come over too? Yes, in fact, he was! Josh - also not a lesbian. But he's funny, and he's been friends with me for a long time now, and he might as well be. 

Then, on Friday, Lara calls me. "Can I bring a guest to Thanksgiving?" Lara's been dating a woman in LA for a few weeks now, and I figured she could only mean Susan. So ... this Thanksgiving is going to be Me, my wonderful girlfriend, my wonderful ex-girlfriend, the woman she's dating, my oldest friend who might as well be a lesbian, and my friend Josh who should be a lesbian. 

THE MOST LESBIAN THANKSGIVING EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But all kidding aside, this is the very reason I love Thanksgiving. It's a transient holiday - a holiday where giving is the goal, and generosity is truly king. Christmas is wonderful, and likes to claim these things, but the commercialism that's invaded Christmas doesn't seem to make this true any more. Christmas is very much about family. Thanksgiving, is very much about giving whatever you can, to whomever you can. Don't have anywhere to go? Come over here! Share my turkey, let me cook for you. The best part, is that the meaning is in the name: It's the giving of thanks in as many ways as you can. That's it. And this year, it truly is. And that makes me so very happy!

This will ALSO be my first attempt at COOKING Thanksgiving dinner. It's going to be quite the experiment. Pictures will be taken. Let's just hope I don't burn the house down. 

I'll blog after the event - but I wish you and everyone at your table, whomever they may be, many many happy wishes.  

Read more

Things that make you go ... "WTF?!"

The celebration of 9/11 by burning the Qu'ran ... you're a douche, Terry Jones. I know it was theoretically "called down," but the planting of idiocy can infect at warp speed. I wonder how many "Americans" actually went through with it. 

Things my dogs chewed up this week, while I was running errands or acting: 

1. bottle of sunscreen

2. half of a 4 oz. canaster of chocolate nibs (don't worry, the dogs are fine)

3. my dad's eye glass case

4. my dad's eye glasses

5. my playstation 2 (I can no longer turn it on or off)

This arrived in the mail for my father a few days ago:

And because I hate ending on a morbid note, a positive WTF?!

I enjoyed my first gourmet food truck experience on Thursday night. I went with a couple of friends to Kogi's after the show, a Korean/Mexican fusion truck. Apparently, it's been featured on the Food Network. One would think that with the regularity (and, quite frankly, compulsion) in which I watch the Food Network, I'd have seen it. WTF?!

Three words: OH. MY. GOD. I had a Kimchi/Korean short rib burrito. Possibly one of the most amazing things I've ever consumed. In my life. And it was so stereotypically "LA" in its exclusivity - this truck travels locations - it's never in the same place one night after the next. To find it, you must go to their website, or sign up for their Twitter page. They have three trucks circulating in LA, one in Orange County. GO. NOW. 

Crap. Now I'm hungry. 

http://kogibbq.com/

Thanks to Brian Clark and Stephanie Lee for foodnapping me after the show...

I'll never forget it, nor will I ever stop being grateful.

Read more

Jamaican' me Jerk! Chiken Salad

Guerrilla Recipe No. 2

Ingredients:

2 boneless chicken breasts
1 head of Romaine Lettuce
1 Carrot
1 Jazz Apple
1/2 Yellow Bell Pepper
1/2 Orange Bell pepper
1/2 white Onion (I think green onion might be even better, but I didn't have any...)
3 cloves of Garlic
Olive Oil
White Wine (I used a Sauvignon Blanc)
Soy Sauce
Jamaican Jerk Rub (find one you like, but here's essentially what's in it...mine came from these guys...take a look at their other blends, especially the Chinese 5 spice!)

Chicken

1) Clean the chicken breasts.
2) Put the Jamaican Jerk rub all over the surface of the chicken breasts. Rub, Rub, Rub!
3) Finely chop the cloves of garlic.
4) Pour a nice layer of olive oil in the frying pan, dump in the chopped garlic, add an *ample* amount of white wine, and a few splooshes of soy sauce.
5) Heat the stove top to medium; get the reduction nice and hot, then add in the chicken, and turn the heat down to low-medium. Put on the lid, and leave it alone for about 10 minutes.

Salad

1) Clean and chop the romaine, carrots, onion (don't forget your goggles!), bell peppers into desired sizes.
2) don't forget about the chicken ... if it's been 10 minutes, flip it over, recover for another 7-10 minutes.
3) Chop the apple into cubes - save this as late as possible, as the apple flesh will start to brown with air exposure.

By the time you're done chopping the veggies, the chicken should be done. There should be plenty of reduction left.

Cut the chicken breasts into pieces, place pieces onto of veggies. Place cubed apples on top of chicken.

then ...

Pour reduction over the salad...it makes a killer dressing.

I wanted to try extra sharp white cheddar crumbles on top - but the cheddar I had ended up being moldy. Next time, though. ;)
-------------------------
This blog post was brought to you by:

swimming goggles
central air conditioning
my non-ringing cell phone

Read more

Casey Kasem has nothin' on me ...

My BFF Phoenix posted a two-part blog series about the top 10 Worst and Best aspects of being a woman. This was a brave endeavor, for no other reason than the making of a top 10 anything takes lots of brain power. Careful deliberation must paid to every single item and its placement. And what if you forget something? Do you scrap what you have and start again? Do you substitute the new item in for a less worthy one? Why was there a less worthy one in the first place? Were the right items picked in the first place? Does this make any sense?

See? That's a lot of effort for one measly little list!

But sometimes, finding 10 of anything is just ridiculously hard. I'll prove my point. I am going to make a list about the 10 Best and Worst things about being an adult. Why? Well, why not. This blog is being created for the simple, and somewhat decadent fact that I had cheesecake for breakfast. And because of that ...

10 Best Things about being an Adult:

1. Getting to eat anything you want for breakfast. Ice cream, brownies, cold pizza, left-over pasta, various forms of alcohol, and yes ... cheesecake. It's your life, don't you forget ...

2. "I get by with a little help from my friends..." I think the best thing, in *my* adult experience has been the pride and continued joy over my ability to pick awesome friends. Especially because I didn't have many friends when I was growing up ... not real friends. But now, as an adult, I have friends whom I can call at 3:00 a.m. if I need them, I have friends I can depend on, talk to, laugh and cry with ... and that's important. Particularly when you're rejected from jobs or grad school, end a relationship, lose a family member, or simply need to be reminded of your own greatness.

3. Excuses. I'm being serious. One of the best weapons in an adult's arsenal. Gone are the days when you were rudely carted here and there without so much as, "By your leave." Work, kids, no time, classes, lack of sleep, family ... now you can use one to excuse yourself from another. Don't want to go to Aunt Bessie's Tupperware party? You have work, and/or can't find a babysitter for the kids. Don't want to go to work? Your Aunt Bessie is in the hospital, of course, you're losing sleep with the worry, to the point of feeling ill yourself! As an adult, not only can you get away with it, but it works! It's like a secret code; that weird thing that your mom would do, but you could never quite catch her in a bald-faced lie. After all, you weren't the keeper of the master schedule. It may not be admirable ... but we all do it.

4. There is a certain thrill in adulthood that comes with doing mundane, and otherwise burdensome chores. Have to clean the bathroom? No problem. Laundry? Consider it done. Dishes? pwned! And WHY is this?? Because there's a magic barrier that's crossed once one finally lives on their own ... once one is the king/queen of one's own castle, chores cease being chores, and become part of a routine; sure, maybe not a *strict* routine, but routine nonetheless. When we were in the process of doing these "routines" for our parents, under the oppression of childhood labor, we called them chores. But now, the sense of productivity and accomplishment is astounding. You could sit around and do nothing but laundry all day, and still feel accomplished! This is what I call progress.

5. The end of censorship! At least on an individual level; I'm not currently able to take on the MPAA/media machines all on my own, at this time. I do assure you, I'm working on it. BUT! Now, I can go out and re-purchase that Dr. Dre album I bought when I was 11, that my dad made me bicycle back to The Wherehouse and exchange, largely because of the parental advisory label on the front. Okay, no, he didn't "make me" ... but he "strongly advised it." So of course, that's what I did. The irony is that I *wouldn't* buy a Dr. Dre album today. No offense to Mr. Dr. Dre, it's just not my thing.

6. Say it with me: NO. MORE. PERMISSION. SLIPS. EVER! I'm sorry, but even as a child, I had a huge problem with needing my parents' permission for things like museum trips or historical societies. I'm the one going, I should have my own say! Who cares if I couldn't drive or get myself to the hospital if hurt. Now? I come, I go, I visit, I pay admittance ... I drive, I pay for gas, and lunch. Please bear in mind that I was a silently independent child ... I did what I was told, but secretly hated it. I am an Aries, after all.

7. The mighty power of Ownership. There's nothing like the feeling when you make your first LARGE purchase ... we have small tastes of this in high school or college, when you save a few hundred dollars to buy that one thing, or maybe you were a highly advanced teenager, and purchased your first (used) car on your own. But I mean LARGE purchases ... purchases over the tune of $5,000 ... I'm talking your first new car, your first house/condo, your first state-of-the-art computer ... Ahhhhh ... the power of financing, the pride, the validation! Who cares that our economy is in the toilet ... buy, buy, buy! Why? Because you can; you have credit!

8. Independent money source/storage. Sure, you may not have a lot of it, but it's still yours; no more asking mom or dad to withdraw money for you, or telling you what to do with it. (This item does typically hinge on the small detail of being gainfully employed, but like I said, small detail.)

9. The continuing growth and refinement of our taste buds. You think I kid? I do not! When I turned 20, I had a sudden craving for coffee, and voila! I loved coffee! Two months after my 21st birthday, insta-need for beer. Shazam! I heart beer! If I didn't have the massive affinity for coffee and beer that I currently have, who KNOWS what I would use to fill the void; cigarettes, mallow bars, everclear ... cocaine? Who knows. And then there's the gourmet foods - avocado, spinach, quiches, prosciutto, lox, brie? What would the world be without good food?? Kraft can only get you so far in life! Yeah, I'm looking at you, Clifton ....

10. Free use of the stove top. Do you remember back to when you couldn't operate the stove, via the means of parental decree? And I could cook (rudimentary) by the time I was 9. Now, lemon chicken, pan-seared steak, mashed potatoes, steamed vegetables. Don't like Aunt Rose's meat aspic? Make something yourself, and tell her you're allergic to gelatin. The stove is my minion! You know, unless I'm eating the cheesecake that my sister made ... for breakfast...

-------------------
This blog is brought to you by:

Tully's coffee
Zlacket's Deli and Market
My sister's cheesecake
Res ipsa loquitur
Casey Kasem

Read more