Happy Birthday, YouTube! and two non-sequiturs.

As many of you may, or may not know, this year marks the 5th in which YouTube has assisted, inspired, bullied, and/or cajoled us into blissful, hilarious, mind-numbing, and diversion therapy procrastination. From funny babies, to insane animals, animation, music videos, voice-overs, old tapes, new tapes, puppets, nerds, dweebs, dorks, geeks, dumb beauty queens, sobbing gay divas........and everything and anything in between, I think we [read: I] owe them a large debt of gratitude for reminding us that there's always something to laugh at, and/or make us feel better about our own life, especially when we're not feeling so great.

I saw on the Huffington Post that Conan O'Brien listed his top 5 favorite YouTube videos. And I think that if Coco gets to do it, I do too. (Sure, why not?) So here are my Top 5 Favorite YouTube videos ever. Thanks, YT - you've made the word "viral" sound so much less disgusting.

#5: Because at heart, I'm just a huge World of Warcraft nerd ... no better than these guys. In fact, I might be worse.



#4: This has to be the coolest video mashup ever. Gwen Verdon, the fabulous Queen of Fosse (literally and figuratively), "walks it out" to Unk. Almost 30 years before Unk wrote the song. Brilliant.



#3: My sister and I can sing this by heart. Don't bother with the other videos by this kid - they're not nearly as brilliant. Harry Potter + Puppets + Pipe Bomb + Random Song = MAGICAL. (HA! Get it?? I made a funny!)



#2: I think this video, exemplifies some of humanity's best traits, while still being entertaining. An entire prison (complete with a tranny) creating their own production of "Thriller?" Yes.



#1: Why? Because quintessentially, this video has it all - it's what YouTube is all about: cute things, surprising moment, short, sweet - No matter how rotten I feel, I can watch this little 16 seconds of happiness, and feel somewhat better. Without fail.



Non-Sequitur #1: 

One of the most admired people in my little life, Garrison Keillor, writes eloquently and personally (and, I fear, truthfully) in the Baltimore Sun about the future of publishing. It's highly depressing for those of us who cling to the carbon-based paper books like polar bears desperately holding on to all-too rapidly melting icebergs (DOUBLE THE DEPRESSING!), but as Garrison himself says, electronic self-publishing is making minced meat out of $30.00 publications issued by bloated publishing houses. Blame technology, blame the economy, blame the youth of today....or just hold on to the books you have, invest your savings in all the books you can still grab your hands on, and then open a Used Book Shop (or Paper Antiques, if you will) in your neighborhood in 10 years, and watch the money roll in! I bought a pre-Depression-era edition of Jane Eyre when I was in Olympia, Washington for less than $10.00. It was highly exciting at the time. Now - it's horrifically sad.

And if you don't see the tragic-yet-hilarious irony in me posting the above article on perhaps the western world's largest self-publishing website - then why are you reading my blog??

Non-Sequitur #2:

My family and I were visited by a representative of the Golden Retriever Shelter of Southern California. She inspected our home and asked us questions about our current animals, as well as general dog care and maintenance. We had been preparing for some animal fascist - a woman who would deem my incredibly pet-friendly house and family unworthy because we have a pool in the back yard, two middle-aged cats, and a rabbit who's allowed to roam-free pretty much anywhere. She was actually quite lovely, but the source of my fear came from the on-line questionnaire we had to fill out, which took no less than 45 minutes. It asked everything from "What will you do with your dog when you travel?" to listing every single pet we've owned as a family - going back to the cat my dad and mom owned when I was born - and how/why they died. Intense? You have no idea.

Rescue shelters are notorious for overly-zealous volunteers who test and investigate everything from kitchen faucets (I'm not kidding!!) to types of yard grass. I understand the impulse - the animals at most of these shelters have been through such hell, they don't want to send them right back into another one. But their methods and demeanor sometimes lack... common sense. I actually know someone who was denied a cat by some of these people - and this someone worshiped and adored cats as though he were an Ancient Egyptian. Boo! Boo I say!

At any rate, it was a good visit, and hopefully sometime next week I'll be able to post pictures of our new "forever pet friend." That's the shelter's website lingo talking....

And here's to all the furry forever friends who need good homes. I would rescue you all if I could. And then maybe give some to Fiona. ;)

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Luck vs. Destiny vs. Personal Control

I've noticed (through my relatively brief years on this planet) that many people fall strongly on one side of a three way battle between luck vs. destiny vs. personal control. What I'm about to say is grossly over-generalized, but bear with me.

I know many people of various religious persuasions fall strongly on the "destiny" side. God has a plan. Things happen for a reason. Typically that "reason" seems to be related to the aforementioned plan of God. Didn't win the lottery? God decreed it must not be so. Struck down with a terrible disease? It must be God's will. Been wronged? God will set it right. God has mapped it out for us, and that's the path we're destined to tread. In essence, God is the major Insurance CEO and Head Cartographer. Bam.

Now I know that not ALL spiritual/religious folks believe this. Some faiths readily contest that man was given free-will by God; ergo man is readily equipped to fuck up at will. Made a bone-head move? That's all you. But the good things - well that's God, naturally.

Then there are those that believe in Luck; that chaotic gambler of mysterious circumstances. Luck seems to be readily distributed in inanimate objects. Luck is, rather unluckily, a fair-weather friend. Knock on wood, don't change your game socks, wear your lucky necklace all the time - even in the shower. Maybe you win 50% of the time. That's okay; just think how little you'd win without your magic object?! As such, ritual is often involved. Ironically, Ritual is also involved in destiny - it's just called prayer.

There's a heathenistic sub-culture of vagrants who believe not in things, not in prayer, not in anything - except themselves. Often, I've found that these people don't believe in a deity or an idol, but rather they believe in themselves, arrogantly and absolutely. These people make their choices, stick with their decisions, and head right into the storm, come what may. There's an absolute freedom in this. It's also a hell of a lot scarier than Destiny or Luck. What happens if we're not enough? What happens if we can't blame anyone but ourselves? Personal Control is the free unknown, the black hole of the future, the destroyer of insured happiness.

And then there's me. I readily utilize all three of these doctrines. Sometimes at the same time.

Here's an example:

I wore my Scott Niedermayer jersey while watching the Ducks play the Kings tonight. They won 4-2. The last game I watched, I did NOT wear my Scott Niedermayer jersey, and they lost, 4-5. Therefore, I need to wear my Scott Niedermayer jersey for all of the games I watch for the rest of the season. OR ELSE. (They won and lost games when I was in Long Island, but since I couldn't watch them on the television, my luck was neutral and didn't matter... Yeah. I'm THAT powerful.)

I submitted my resume for a PR job late last week. I have not been contacted for an interview, even though I know I'm more than qualified. I'm okay with this; it's for the best. It's obviously not meant to happen. That's all you, G-O-D.

I'm now writing Indie Music articles for examiner.com. Do I have any journalism experience? No. Am I hipster who hangs out at record stores and spends all my money on over-priced bootlegs of obscure and elitist bands? No. Why am I doing it? Well ... why not? I went into college wanting to be a rock journalist for Rolling Stone. I can hold my own enough to write about things that interest me, and hopefully other people. Go big, or go home. I can make this whatever I want it to be. If I suck ... it'll only cost me readers.

One of the books I'm reading right now is a non-fiction account of hiking the Ulster Trail around the circumference of Northern Ireland, written by Will Ferguson. In one passage of the book, Will is told by locals that the Hawthorne bushes that ominously dot the North Ireland farms along the trail are "Faerie thorns," and Farmers won't cut them down, for fear of the wee fay folk seeking revenge and wreaking havoc on the poor farmers, their families, and their farms.

Will asks one Farmer, "Surely you don't believe in faeries and spirits."

The Farmer replies, "I don't. But that may not matter."

And that, ladies and gents, is a sound philosophy in a nutshell.
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This blog post is brought to by:

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I am a cliche, new-age country song.

[Authors Warning: This post is a total downer. I apologize profusely; I'm not having the best week.]

So remember when I told you about Lady's awful visit to the veterinarian? My parents decided to put her down. Tonight. Lady is no longer here with us. She took a turn for the worst, stopped eating, stopped her nightly/morning routines, and her breathing was greatly labored. It was definitely the right decision; this does not, however, make it any easier.

I do find great comfort in the fact that we had the option to put her down; that the end of her life was not dictated by pain, medication, or a poor quality of life. In fact, she had a pretty damn good life. It makes me never-endingly grateful that Lady was, indeed, a dog. If she had been a human, we wouldn't have been able to do a thing to ease her pain, which is unfathomable to me. But again I say, I am very grateful.



You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us. ~Robert Louis Stevenson

I love you, Lady. I hope that Shadow, Skippy, Megan, Molly, and Murphy are there to greet you, so you won't be alone. I hope I see you again, one day, too.

It's been a very sad week in the Bradac household.

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In much less mournful, yet annoying news, my laptop is broken. Apparently there's a defect in the AMD Turion/NVIDIA chipset in Hewlett-Packard/Compaq computers. I have no sound, no operating CD drive. This laptop, by the way, is less than 18 months old. If you're in the market for a new laptop, I do not recommend mine.

(This constitutes the "new-age" part of my country song.)
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Finally, I found out yesterday that a person I used to date (very briefly) after college is getting married. Normally, I would issue my congratulations, except that this individual is in possession, and has been in possession of a book of mine for 5 years. And has not given it back.

The book in question is by Anna Deavere Smith, entitled, "Talk to Me." Anna talks beautifully about her history, the events/political issues that inspired her toward documentary theatre, and the process she's developed to create the phenomenal pieces she performs. For those unfamiliar with Anna Deavere Smith, she is best-known for creating one-woman shows in which she portrays anywhere from 20-40 people. The plays are from the true stories/experiences of communities affected directly by racial tension and violence. "Fires in the Mirror: Crown Heights, Brooklyn," "Twilight: Los Angeles, 1992."

The truth is that the person in question actually has more than just this book of mine. In fact, I think she has three or four. The others I've already replaced. So why am I upset about this book? Because this book was not only signed by Anna Deavere Smith, but was given to me, by her - personally. I met her, and she gave me this book. I don't have many "heroes," but Anna Deavere Smith is one of them. I based my Senior Thesis around her and her work. The night that Anna gave me this book, she spoke at my university. Afterward, two of my best friends and I had, I maintain, the best night of our collegiate career.

And that book is somewhere in the bowels of Maryland, kept by a person that has such little regard for me and my feelings, that not only has she not sent it back to me in 5 years, she hasn't even had the decency to answer my calls or e-mails. I am not an inauthentic person, I am not an ungenerous person, I am not impatient, pushy, vindictive, or spiteful.

But 5 years of this ... only to find out that this thief is getting married. A thief, by the way, who has nothing to do with theatre AT ALL (of what interest is my book?!). To this person, I cannot even find happiness in my heart to give.

I hope your wedding sucks.

The Cliche, New-Age Country Song Tally:
1. My dog is dead.
2. My computer is crashing.
3. My book is being held hostage by an ex, and I'll probably never see it again.

[I would attempt to put my song to lyrics, but I feel that such an act would be glib, distasteful, and self-pitying....and I can't think of anything that rhymes with "paramecium" or "entrails"]

Hank Williams, you ain't got nothin' on me.

And for Tracy: The current total of my "Christmas in Canada Fund" is $50.00.
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This blog post is brought to you by:

Hank Williams, Hank Williams, Jr., Hank Williams III
Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Star Cookies
Dogs everywhere

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Current top 10's ...

In writing my last post, I mentioned quite a gutsy claim related to my top 10 bands. So then I thought, "Hey! I'm an opinionated person! Let's see what I'm really made of!"

So it's time to let the Polar Fluff shine.

Now, a lot of people have different opinions as to what constitutes a top 10 list. Do you stick with your "image," or rather, what you think you should like in order to impress others (c'mon, you know someone like that!); do you play the "if-I'm-trapped-on-a-desert-island-with-no-hope" game; do you stick to loyalty, the small few familiars in your culture sphere? Or ... do you go for various items that changed your life and/or your taste in some way? I say, "Potpourri for $1,000, Alex." In other words, it's all arbitrary. Love it because you love it. The end. No apologies, no explanations.

Top 10 favorite bands or singers:
10. Tori Amos
9. Arcade Fire
8. The Ramones
7. Sarah Harmer
6. Modest Mouse
5. Lucinda Williams
4. The Weakerthans
3. Neko Case
2. Mary Chapin Carpenter
1. Bruce Springsteen

Top 10 favorite films:
10. Orlando
9. Elizabeth
8. Away We Go (I'm not lying, it's moving it's way up...)
7. Indiana Jones trilogy (cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater)
6. How the West Was Won
5. Kingdom of Heaven
4. LOTR trilogy (yes, I'm a cheater)
3. The Royal Tenenbaums
2. Little Miss Sunshine
1. Sense & Sensibility

Top 10 favorite books:
10. Sense & Sensibility, Jane the Austen
9. Wicked, Gregory Maguire
8. Tess of the D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
7. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
6. The Hotel New Hampshire, John Irving
5. Written on the Body, Jeanette Winterson
4. The Harry Potter Series, J.K. Rowling
3. Girl Meets Boy, Ali Smith
2. The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer Bradley
1. Reservation Blues, Sherman Alexie

Top 10 current favorites:
10. Farmville on facebook
9. Jane Lynch
8. my new pumice stone
7. Sleep
6. Away We Go Soundtrack
5. writing poetry
4. Vitamin Water
3. Nectarines
2. Blogging
1. Iced Tea

Hmmm...now I'm running out of steam, and two blogs in one day is intense. So I'll quit while I'm behind. Especially because as I look back on these lists, I think, "God, I'm white."

This blog was brought to you by:

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