Friday, August 28, 2009

The weird things I do ...

I've been noticing lately that I do some really strange things. And it made me wonder if other people do things like this, too? By strange, I don't mean things that could lead to incarceration. I mean ... out of the ordinary. WAY out of the ordinary (yet not creepy). For example:

I wear goggles when I chop onions. Seriously. Why suffer through the pain inflicted on your eyes by onions vapors? Why submit yourself to the onion's mercy, as it brings you to tears?! I say, "No more, Mister Onion!" Plus, you get the added bonus of feeling like a super hero ... kind of. It's also a brilliant fashion statement - think of the protective goggles in your high school chemistry class. And yes, I thought of this all on my own.

One of the other weird things I do, (and this happened to me today, giving me the idea for this blog...) is put my laptop in the freezer....when it overheats. Not for long ... only about 1-2 minutes. I usually do most of my writing/procrastination-via-internet on my bed...and sitting in one position for too long makes me a little stiff ... so when I flip over on my stomach, sometimes my laptop gets angry because it can't breathe, and shuts down after while. I get up, put it in the freezer, and just wait. Oddly, I've done this in front of several members of my family, and I don't think they've noticed what exactly I'm doing in the freezer; no one's ever said anything.

I have a proclivity to creating television personality friends and nemeses. Nemeses: James Lipton (Inside the Actor's Studio), Nancy Grace (Fox Network Harpy), and Rachel Ray (Food Network ... it's her voice! and her weird eyes...). Friends: Jon Stewart, Rachel Maddow, Stephen Colbert, Ina Garten (The Barefoot Contessa), and Paula Dean. The way I know I make friends/nemeses with these people, is if/when I start talking to them while the television is on. Positive comments usually begin a friendship, and negative comments ... well. You get the idea. In fact, Paula Dean is on right now ... I just said, "Hey, Ya'll." And she just said, "I hope I don't burn my pie hole." Yep. That's the kind of conversation Paula and I are prone to. Right after Paula, Rachel Ray's 30 Minute Meals came on, and I said, "I hate you, Rachel Ray." And promptly turned the channel. Rachel isn't allowed to have the last word.

And lastly (for the purposes of today), I cannot go to sleep with dirty feet. Can.Not. So what do I do if my feet feel dirty? I go and wash them. In the bathtub. It mostly happens during the summer, when I wear my flip flops more than normal. In fact, I should go wash them right now ... but what if I go out again? Do you see the conundrum I'm faced with?!
This blog post brought to you by:

Oggi's beer
The Food Network
How Green Was My Valley
raw almonds


jennifer from pittsburgh said...

I don't know that I want to admit to some of the weird stuff I do...Ok, I'll admit to one: When Caty's feet stink, it's not bad enough that I feel compelled to smell them, but I smell them twice to make sure that they stink as bad as what I think.
Happy? ;)

Kristin Quinn said...

Nope. I don't do any of those things. But I may start wearing goggles. That's a good ideaa!

Phoenix said...

Nathan Fillion on the tv show Castle totally stole your goggle idea.

Also, I can't really imagine your family stepping in and intervening even if they DID see you putting your laptop in the freezer...they seem to have a type of under-reaction to most weird things in life.


Genevieve said...

Okay, I so agree - I wash my feet in the bathtub too!! LOL