Thursday, March 4, 2010

Dog logic

It's not uncommon for Tracy and I to have conversations like that one that follows. Without going into details, just know that before this section of the conversation, we're having a discussion about Tracy and her boyfriend Benni, and how they interact. 

Me: So here's what I think: I think Benni's a St. Bernard.

Tracy: Oh my God.

Me: So there's Benni, searching the mountains for crashed skiers in the snow, ready to pour hot, life-saving fluid from the jug around his neck into their mouths. The St. Bernard doesn't bemoan his state, he doesn't complain about his lot in life. That's just what he does - it's what his nature is. And he's going to keep doing it because he's full of pure joy and love, with a highly attuned sense of care-giving.

Tracy: And I'm an Australian Shepherd. 

Me: Exactly. So there's Benni, walking up the mountain in the snow, and there you are, running circles around him, trying to protect him from hurt skiers, but you can't-

Tracy: Because that's just what he does.

Me: Right. But he loves the fact that you're there running around in circles, because you're right by his side. You're totally on Team Benni.

Tracy: I am. And he totally loves that. He can't believe it. He's never had that before. 

Me: But you can't protect him from himself, anymore than I can protect you from yourself - I may want to be your firewall, but I can't. I'd be preventing you from being you. 

Tracy: Right. That's brilliant.

Me: Yeah. (smile)

Tracy: So what kind of dog is Liz? 

Me: She's a lab mix - she's so sensitive, and so attentive - as soon as something's wrong, her attention is right there - if she were a dog, her head would be on my lap, and she'd always be by my side. But she's also fun and super smart and likes to get out ... so like, a lab/border collie mix.

Tracy: I was totally gonna say a lab. What are you?

Me: Uhm ... that's a good question. I don't know. I suppose it depends ... I'm definitely a mix. Like, a golden retriever/Bernese Mountain Dog/Collie mix. And on occasion, a German Shepherd. Or something.

Tracy: What's the Polar Bear version of a dog breed? 

Me: I don't know. But whatever it is, that's what I am. 
So there, in a nut-shell, is the most brilliant theory that ever existed. What kind of dogs are you and your significant other? Now I'm interested. I may need to write a book. 

You're welcome.

     [photo credit]                                                                [photo credit]
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Phoenix said...

YES. Brilliant. This conversation put my St. Bernard and I totally on the same wavelength after I told him your epiphany.

I love you so much, girl.

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

Caty's in charge all of the time, so she's definitely a German Shepherd. I'm probably like Bela, a beagle. A little needy, not too bright, easily distracted until I find the trail I should be running down ;)
Great post, btw!!!!

Lira said...

I like this whole idea. Let's see. Antne is a golden retriever who everyone loves and who loves everyone, and I'd be a hyper Jack Russel terrier.

H said...

Fun stuff! :D

Oh...and a certain Polar Bear friend thought that I would be a Sheltie. That works for me. According to Wikipedia (Hey! Wikipedia is good for *some* research... ;-)), Shelties are..."vocal, excitable, energetic dogs who are always willing to please and hard workers."