Thursday, May 27, 2010

Damn you, Rolling Stone!

Hopefully, most of you know by now that whenever I fly anywhere, I buy a Rolling Stone. Period. The End. No Discussion. The two exceptions to this ....quirk, tick, obsession, routine, superstition, whathaveyou... (which are fairly rare) are:

1) If I'm too broke to afford one (this has happened once or twice - they're $5.00! If it's between a Rolling Stone and a Coffee/Food, I'll usually go for the Coffee/Food. I do have priorities.)

2) My flights are too close in succession, and there isn't a new issue out yet. (this has happened once or twice, too)

Last Wednesday, I whisked myself back to Calgary to surprise my gorgeous, wonderful, amazing Monkey for her birthday. My fabulous sister-in-law to be was my partner in crime, and together we concocted a masterful, low-key plan, resulting in the Monkey's ultimate and exuberant surprise. Heh. We got her GOOD.

After an awesome weekend that included beer, Fi's cabin, and Lee's fabulous musical stylings, it was time for me to head home. But not without my Rolling Stone.

On the trip to Calgary, I read all about Robert Downey Jr., and his amazing comeback, his new, burgeoning empire, his son, Iron Man, etc. I read about The Courtyard Hounds - the two sisters from the Dixie Chicks who wanted to make some music while Natalie Maines takes a break, and how the album is actually quite good. I read about MGMT, and their struggles with each other, and with success, Ke$ha and her "confessions of a party animal" (gag!), Melissa Etheridge's supposedly awesome and raw new album about cancer and her divorce, and about The Hold Steady and their awesome new album.  I read about Summer Music Festivals, who's playing where, how awesome Coachella is, and how Jay Z and Beyonce went to everything they could listen to - from Edward Sharpe to Faith No More to Vampire Weekend. Rad.

On the way back, the cover was of Mick Jagger, circa 1972. The main article was on the re-release of Stones' epic album, Exile on Main Street. Keith Richards did lots of Heroin in the South of France. The sound engineer, Andy Johns, ended up mixing the entire album himself in two days because Mick Jagger was "sick of the album" and didn't want to listen to it anymore. Andy Johns was 21 years old at the time. I also read about The Black Keys and their new album - who, if you haven't heard them yet, ROCK. Two boys from Akron, Ohio - one on a drum kit, one on a guitar. It'll blow you away. They don't like Band of Horses' new album, though Rolling Stone gave it a solid three stars.

There was an article about how My Morning Jacket did a two day recording in New Orleans with the Preservation Hall Jazz Band, which sounds phenomenal. LCD sound system's new album is supposed to be BRILLIANT - 4.5 stars, according to RS. Also on the music radar of note: The New Pornographers, a new Stone Temple Pilots album (Scott Weiland is sober! Again!), The National, Mary Chapin Carpenter, the Dum Dum Girls, The Dead Weather (more from Jack White), Them Crooked Vultures (musical super group of John Paul Jones, Dave Grohl, and Josh Homme), Trombone Shorty, Solomon Burke, Sleigh Bells, Black Francis, Jamey Johnson, Dr. Luke, and Dr. John.

Okay. So why, with this melodious cornucopia, am I publicly damning Rolling Stone? Because there's all of this new music, all out at the same time. And it's not shit. And they're telling me how not shitty it is - which means that I want to buy it. ALL OF IT. That's right ... 22 of the groups I mentioned above, plus MORE that aren't even on their radar, like Sarah Harmer's new album, which I put off buying so that I could surprise my girlfriend for her birthday.

And it's just all of a sudden! For the past year or two, the groups that Rolling Stone was mostly profiling were of little to no interest to me. Which made me feel superior (and financially richer) in my contempt of rap, pop, and screamo metal. But suddenly - within months - Rolling Stone has decided that I'm not spending enough on itunes, and if I really WERE the music nerd I claim to be, I would have all of these albums in my collection, not to mention listening to them non-stop. The one problem? I can't afford to buy them all at once!


So here's my current plan: Monthly Musical Installments. I'm allowed to purchase no more than two (2) albums a month, and no more than ten (10) individual songs. To help me remember who and what I want to buy, I wrote a two-page list in my red moleskin notebook when I was the on the plane coming home. For those who are interested, I'll post what I find to be interesting, and what I find to be crap (if any).

I'm actually hoping to be disappointed, thereby saving myself lots of money.

Thank you.


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