So today is Columbus Day. I've personally always thought this to be one of the crappiest "holidays" on the American Calendar - precisely for the reason that I never once got the day off from school. Why write the names of Holidays in italics on the calendar, if you're not going to give us the day off!? It seems like a fountainhead day to celebrate a fairly lame fountainhead explorer. Did you know that kids on the East Coast get Columbus Day off from school? I was ticked, until I realized that celebrating the memory of a man who began the systematic raping and pillaging of native peoples in the Western continents was just not my cup.
"WHAT?! How did you? I mean, I didn't ... WHAT?!"
"Well why didn't you tell me??"
"I just didn't know how to broach the subject."
"YAY! I'm so happy for you! And I'm the first one to know! YAY!"