Thursday, December 10, 2009

I am a cliche, new-age country song.

[Authors Warning: This post is a total downer. I apologize profusely; I'm not having the best week.]

So remember when I told you about Lady's awful visit to the veterinarian? My parents decided to put her down. Tonight. Lady is no longer here with us. She took a turn for the worst, stopped eating, stopped her nightly/morning routines, and her breathing was greatly labored. It was definitely the right decision; this does not, however, make it any easier.

I do find great comfort in the fact that we had the option to put her down; that the end of her life was not dictated by pain, medication, or a poor quality of life. In fact, she had a pretty damn good life. It makes me never-endingly grateful that Lady was, indeed, a dog. If she had been a human, we wouldn't have been able to do a thing to ease her pain, which is unfathomable to me. But again I say, I am very grateful.



You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us. ~Robert Louis Stevenson

I love you, Lady. I hope that Shadow, Skippy, Megan, Molly, and Murphy are there to greet you, so you won't be alone. I hope I see you again, one day, too.

It's been a very sad week in the Bradac household.

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In much less mournful, yet annoying news, my laptop is broken. Apparently there's a defect in the AMD Turion/NVIDIA chipset in Hewlett-Packard/Compaq computers. I have no sound, no operating CD drive. This laptop, by the way, is less than 18 months old. If you're in the market for a new laptop, I do not recommend mine.

(This constitutes the "new-age" part of my country song.)
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Finally, I found out yesterday that a person I used to date (very briefly) after college is getting married. Normally, I would issue my congratulations, except that this individual is in possession, and has been in possession of a book of mine for 5 years. And has not given it back.

The book in question is by Anna Deavere Smith, entitled, "Talk to Me." Anna talks beautifully about her history, the events/political issues that inspired her toward documentary theatre, and the process she's developed to create the phenomenal pieces she performs. For those unfamiliar with Anna Deavere Smith, she is best-known for creating one-woman shows in which she portrays anywhere from 20-40 people. The plays are from the true stories/experiences of communities affected directly by racial tension and violence. "Fires in the Mirror: Crown Heights, Brooklyn," "Twilight: Los Angeles, 1992."

The truth is that the person in question actually has more than just this book of mine. In fact, I think she has three or four. The others I've already replaced. So why am I upset about this book? Because this book was not only signed by Anna Deavere Smith, but was given to me, by her - personally. I met her, and she gave me this book. I don't have many "heroes," but Anna Deavere Smith is one of them. I based my Senior Thesis around her and her work. The night that Anna gave me this book, she spoke at my university. Afterward, two of my best friends and I had, I maintain, the best night of our collegiate career.

And that book is somewhere in the bowels of Maryland, kept by a person that has such little regard for me and my feelings, that not only has she not sent it back to me in 5 years, she hasn't even had the decency to answer my calls or e-mails. I am not an inauthentic person, I am not an ungenerous person, I am not impatient, pushy, vindictive, or spiteful.

But 5 years of this ... only to find out that this thief is getting married. A thief, by the way, who has nothing to do with theatre AT ALL (of what interest is my book?!). To this person, I cannot even find happiness in my heart to give.

I hope your wedding sucks.

The Cliche, New-Age Country Song Tally:
1. My dog is dead.
2. My computer is crashing.
3. My book is being held hostage by an ex, and I'll probably never see it again.

[I would attempt to put my song to lyrics, but I feel that such an act would be glib, distasteful, and self-pitying....and I can't think of anything that rhymes with "paramecium" or "entrails"]

Hank Williams, you ain't got nothin' on me.

And for Tracy: The current total of my "Christmas in Canada Fund" is $50.00.
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This blog post is brought to you by:

Hank Williams, Hank Williams, Jr., Hank Williams III
Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Star Cookies
Dogs everywhere

2 comments:

Lira said...

When my grandma died, I read a medium's book on what happens when we get to heaven. He said that all your family and friends are waiting for you, just as you'd imagine, but they all wait patiently as your pets are the first ones to run up and greet you and welcome you home.
She's up in heaven, young and pain free, patiently waiting at the gate for you.
My thoughts are with you.

Phoenix said...

Oh, my love...I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there was something I could say to ease the pain but what is probably most comforting at times like this is when someone who loves you just holds you, and I'm here in LA and I can't do that.

:(

Let me know if you need anything, okay? And feel free to give out the thief's email address and I'll bombard the bitch with requests of "Hey, want to be a decent person? Return the GODDAMN BOOK."

As for your Christmas in Canada fund...go check again :)