Friday, January 1, 2010

2009's Top 10 Best and Worst...whatever

I thought maybe I'd try making a list of the past year's 10 Best...and Worst...things...from my point of view. I don't have a focus to this list (obviously), because chaos can be fun too, damn it! Let's see how this goes, eh?

What I've done is googled the heck out of the Top+10+2009, and compiled the items that make *my* elite list, below. Am I poser for googling other lists, stealing from them, and making them fit into my mold??

No. I just can't remember anything prior to September.

Oh okay, fine! I'll cite my sources, how's that???

[googled, googling...Google is going to beat the F-bomb for most variances of grammatic usage]

Sources: Wired Magazine, AOL Radio Blog, People Magazine, Time Magazine, my own swiss cheese brain (hey, I have *some* originality...)


10. Pixar's Up - changes the way animated movies are seen ... and told.

9. Sarah Palin resigns as Governor of Alaska (I know *I'd* be happy if I were Alaskan)*

8. Bernie Madoff gets caught - and puts financial corruption front and center in a (hopefully) lasting way.

7. Spain has a measure proposing the banning of bullfighting. Bullfighting makes me think of Ferdinand the Bull. Save the Ferdinands!

6. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil wins the Olympic bid for 2016 - the first Olympics (ever!) to be held in South America! It's about time!

5. The Kings of Leon - bringing radio waves substance, musicality, and American charm. FINALLY, the US has a musical export to be proud of...again. [I know they've been around for a few years now, but the radio didn't really play them until Only By the Night was released...and thank GOODNESS.]

4. The City of Houston - elects a lesbian mayor. Surely this has to be one of the signs of the apocalypse??? Until then, I think it's a highly positive thing.

3. Microsoft 7 - What Vista should have been, but BETTER.

2. Copenhagen Climate Conference - it's about bloody time.**

1. Barack Obama becomes the 44th President of the United States - if nothing else (I'm still waiting on actions regarding DOMA, Don't Ask/Don't Tell, Healthcare reform, and the closure of Gitmo...), it's hugely historic.


1. MEGAN FOX. I don't feel as though I need to explain this one.

2. KANYE WEST - The dis on Taylor Swift. Lame, Kanye. Super lame.

3. MISS CALIFORNIA. Remember that brilliant soundbite? (although I think I'm more offended that she referred to straight marriage as "opposite" marriage. Make blondes look better, damnit!)

"We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage, and you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that's how I was raised."


4. The Media Monster and the feeding of the machine. I see more stories about reality celebrities that I don't know, or have never heard of, than I do about anything of substance. I saw a Headline on Yahoo! that read, "How did Tiger's scandal get so out of control?" YOU, you vapid ignorers of privacy and promoters of trash!

5. The return of Madonna's wardrobe from the 80's. Stiletto boots with tights and laced headbands did NOT need to come back. Nor did hot-pink cheetah print spandex. (Eff you, Wet Seal!)

6. Christian Bale - beats up his mother and his sister, and then loses his shit with an electrician on the set of Terminator. Dude needs to stop the drugs and enter some anger management India....with the Dali Llama.

7. Paranoid Conservatives - who insist Barack Obama wasn't born in this country. Two words: BIRTH CERTIFICATE. Get over it, already!

8. The White House Party's a microscopic, yet widely-reaching example of what's wrong with our American cult of celebrity. I also include the ridiculousness of the White House security detail in this item.

9. Sarah Palin resigns as Governor of Alaska - and is somehow allowed to get away without saying WHY.*

10. Copenhagen Climate Conference - EPIC FAIL.**

* part of me is ashamed that Sarah Palin is on both of my lists. Especially because I *firmly* believe that she should never be resurrected from the murky depths of media hell...ever again. So I apologize.

** Great idea, shit-poor execution. It's times like this when I wish Robespierre would rise from the grave, and smite the bourgeois, ineffective leaders of today. Robespierre would OWN them.