Saturday, February 20, 2010

The top ten signs of Olympic Obsession...

I have spent most of my waking hours (and some of my sleeping ones) watching the Vancouver Olympics. Now I know that the Olympics are the most watched programs on television right now, second only to Tiger Woods and his all-too-polished apologies ... but ... I don't think most people are *truly* obsessed. They watch because it's the only thing on TV.

But luckily for you, I've come up with the 10 tell-tale signs to tell whether you're obsessed or not. (I can't just let anyone go around proclaiming their obsession ... where's the specialness of that?!)

Please note - none of these items apply to Canadians. If you're a Canadian, and you're not obsessed with the Olympics ...

I don't even want to finish that statement. (Except for you, Fee!)

The Top Ten Signs of Olympic Obsession


10. You text the results of the events you're watching.

9. You're willing to watch a "sport" you detest, like Ice Dancing, when there's no other Olympic coverage on either NBC, MSNBC, USA Network, or CNBC. *I hang my head in shame.*

8. You voluntarily watch x-country skiing. All 1 hour and 15 minutes of it.

7. You refer to the Great British curling teams as "Scotland" - because that's where all the GB curlers are from. (duh)

6. You are sadistically fascinated with raving loony sports like the Skeleton and Ski Jumping.

5. You watch any coverage of Stephen Colbert wearing a mountie uniform you can find. Especially if he's talking to Bob Costas.

4. If your response to Russia losing in either figure skating, hockey or curling is, "Die, Ruskie, Die!"*

3. You not only watch curling, but you actually have an idea of what's going on, either because you've read up on it at sites like this, or because you've watched so much of it, you've figured most of it out.

2. You desperately wish there was radio coverage of the Olympics for when you're in the car, cursedly far from a television.

1. You've ever had fantasies of kidnapping Bob Costas, just so you could take his job.

#4 is brought to you by my dad, who is definitely obsessed. 


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This blog post is brought to you by:

NBC
The Canadian Men's Curling Team
The US Women's Curling Team
The Swedish Men's X-Country Skiing Team

5 comments:

http://abebedorespgondufo.blogs.sapo.pt/ said...

Good.

オテモヤン said...

オナニー
逆援助
SEX
フェラチオ
ソープ
逆援助
出張ホスト
手コキ
おっぱい
フェラチオ
中出し
セックス
デリヘル
包茎
逆援
性欲

QueenFee said...

I appreciate that you bent the rules a little for me. But I just watched a whole hockey game!! Me!! And I cheered. And then I wrote about it in my blog. Whew! Howzabout that?

Phoenix said...

lol I might...have...done some of those things...

Can't prove it!

Jen said...

uh oh.... I have two of the signs in one night... hating on Russians AND watching ice dancing.

Though, in my defense, it would be nice if they had an ESPN-like ticker that would update you with when stuff was on next (ski jumps, etc) so you could wander away from ice dancing for a while :) There was NOTHING ELSE ON, period, and it's kinda awkward to flip back and forth between Netflix and regular TV :)