And "best woman in human history" goes to....

Today is July 4th - which, if you're American, means a national holiday involving alcohol and the lighting of explosives. Hooray! If you're not an American - well, it's just a normal Sunday for you, sorry; you have to have your alcohol without explosives, poor souls that you are. Don't feel too bad - at least you'll have all of your limbs intact at the end of the day. Good for you!

Anyway, for the past 2 years, Shakespeare Orange County has had a free and public reading of the Declaration of Independence, and so we did again this year. My favorite section of this little gathering entails the reading of passages written by our fore-fathers and mothers, incorporating Shakespeare. Example? Abigail Adams and John Adams quote a lot from Julius Caesar back and forth to each other during their letters throughout the days leading up to the Revolutionary War. Jefferson uses Shakespeare, Washington uses Shakespeare, I'm sure even Benjamin Franklin quotes some kind of irreverent piece of text at some point. Shakespeare's use of rhetoric - the art of persuasion - is the cornerstone of our country's important documents; straight up. 

This year, my dad couldn't find the Abigail Adams passages, and I became very sad. And I told this to my monkey, and said, "Abigail Adams is in my top 5 women of all time..." And then I started to think about my top 5 women of all time ... who are they? what did they do? how did they change our world? do I always ask myself rhetorical questions? 

In a word, yes. 

Then, I asked my sister last night as we were walking the dogs, who her top 5 women of all history would be. She came up with three, initially. She had trouble thinking of more. "I don't know a lot of great women in history." Excuse me, WHAT?!?! How can you say that and call yourself my sister??? Then, because she was grasping at straws, she picked some weird choices out of thin air ....

"Oh! I know who I'm missing ... Marie Antoinette!"

"Marie Antoinette?!?! Really?? Why??"

"Because I think she was really good."

"Uhm ... really good at what?"

"That's not what I mean - like, everyone thought she was this heartless bitch, and I don't think she really was."

"Oh. You think she was a scapegoat."

"YEAH."

"Okay ... but what did she do?!"

"What do you meant?"

"Well ... I guess when I think about great women of history, they tried - against all male odds - to make the world a better place, when usually they wouldn't have been able to - because they were women, and therefore second rate citizens - if citizens at all. You know? Women who have had an impact to change the course of our lives and the way we live." 

"Oh. Well, I can't think of very many."

Then she asked me about my choices for great men in history, and I let her off the hook. 

So, on this July 4th, in the spirit of my own feminist pride, I give you:

PB's Top 10 Women of World History

1. Boadicea - led an uprising against the occupying Roman Army in Brittain in AD 60, after her husband was captured, and her daughters (and herself) nearly raped. Sure, she was later caught and executed, but I have three words for you: ORIGINAL. BAD. ASS.

2. Abigail Adams - She's the original feminist. People credit Emmeline Pankhurst or other suffragettes ... no no no. She wasn't a wife-as-commodity, she was a partner and an equal to her husband, on her own insistence - though I'm sure she wouldn't have married John Adams if he had been a horse's ass. Here are some of her little gems:

• "Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember all men would be tyrants if they could."
• "If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice, or representation."
• "If we mean to have heroes, statesmen and philosophers, we should have learned women."
• "Well, knowledge is a fine thing, and mother Eve thought so; but she smarted so severely for hers, that most of her daughters have been afraid of it since."

Abigail did a LOT of background work before, during, and after the revolution, and doesn't get NEARLY as much credit as she should. And considering her ideas on women's rights within a "Free" society were nearly 200 years before her time, I think she's bee's knees.

3. Elizabeth I - One of England's longest reigning monarchs (second only to Victoria), one of the most  enlightened, educated, and powerful women to have lived. Ever. While an obvious choice, certainly a good one, I think.

4. Eleanor Roosevelt - Best first lady since Abigail Adams. HUGE civil and social rights activist. Another great woman who did countless behind-the-scenes work on everything from public policy to international politics. I also think it's a relatively enlightened woman who can allow her husband to have affairs, and then allow herself to have some too.

5. Pope Joan - While the Catholic church firmly, passionately, and contemptuously denies the existence of Pope Joan, there is ancient documented evidence that she existed in the 12th century. The fact that the Catholic church denies it so vehemently ... well. I'll say no more. But according to what was written about her, she studied in Athens and Rome, disguised as a boy, simply because she wanted to learn. And since a good education at the time was only got by the church, she rose through the ranks on the skill of her intelligence and kindness alone. She was later, reportedly, found out as a woman because she gave birth. Firebrand? Yes ma'am!

6. Harriet Tubman - She escaped her own slavery, went back into the South 13 times to save over 70 slaves on the Underground Railroad. When the Civil War started she worked in the Union Army as a cook, a nurse, an armored scout, and a spy. After the war, she was a huge help during the very early stages of the women's suffrage movement. And I'm sure, given half the chance, would have fought for Native rights too.

7. Sacagawea - The interpreter and guide for Lewis & Clark - traveled from North Dakota to the Pacific Ocean with a baby on her back. There should be a quote along the lines of, "Sacagawea did everything Lewis & Clark did, only with a baby on her back, while speaking multiple languages!" Without her, Lewis & Clark would have been a small footnote in the annals of history, about the first two men to try and reach the Pacific Ocean. Because of Sacagawea, they actually did. She's a big deal in the Pacific Northwest, as well she should be.

8. Hatshepsut - Forget Cleopatra. Hatshepsut ruled before Cleopatra, and had the longest and most successful pharoahship of any other woman ruler of Egypt (and they were not strangers to women rulers). She was highly skilled as a tactician, but had a rule of long-standing peace, re-opened trade routes that helped regain Egypt's wealth, and issued in a period of architecture that was unparalleled for thousands of years. Oh. And this was all around 1479 B.C. BAM.

9. Empress Wu Zetian - The first, and ONLY Chinese Empress in History (690), and is also the first to start her own Dynasty (Zhou, which interrupted the Tang Dynasty). She started out as a concubine, like you do, became the Empress Dowager, deposed two of her sons, supposedly killed her daughter to frame another woman of royalty, Empress Wang, as well as her eldest son - but then, that's the price for being an original. She was said to be ruthless and shrewd, but at the same time an attentive ruler and a great judge of character. She was later deposed by one of the sons that SHE deposed, and called herself 'emperor' until the say she died. Her rule lasted almost 30 years. Contemporary scholars are still trying to decide who she really was - yet another case of, "Was she really a bitch? Or is that just how the conquerors made her out to be?"

10. Babe Didrikson Zaharias - Not all great women of history are leaders of nations. Babe Zaharias is, I believe, to this day, the most talented multi-sport female athlete the world's ever seen. Golf, basketball, and a swath of track & field events left Babe with 3 Olympic medals, 10 LPGA major championships wins (including the US Open), 17 amateur women's golf wins (not even Tiger Woods has won as much!), she was also accomplished at pool, and won an Amateur Athlete Team Championship - all by herself. Babe paved the way so that girls like me could play sports too. Without Babe, there would be no Billie Jean King, no Jackie Joyner Kersey (perhaps the only other woman I could name as the most talented multi-sport athlete).

Top 10 Women I wish had been real
1. Xena - Uhm, duh.
2. Penthesilea - Queen of the Amazons, fought at Troy, honored by Achilles for her courage and skill.

3. Hua Mulan - Chinese Female warrior, disguised herself as a man.
4. Lao Ma - Fictional character from Xena - in the Xenaverse, Lao Ma is responsible for Lao Tzu's Taoist book of Wisdom.
5. Rogue - Marvel comics. The ORIGINAL Rogue. Not the Anna Paquin Rogue. Ugh.
6. Morgaine - as written by Marion Zimmer Bradley in the Mists of Avalon.
7. Cassandra - as written by Marion Zimmer Bradley in The Firebrand.
8. The nameless Amazon on the isle of St. Kilda, Scotland - Or, Taigh na Banaghaisgeich. This is a piece of folklore I learned of relatively recently, but I've become fascinated. (the link is Wikipedia, look under "Pre-historic buildings)
9. Atalanta - Greek mythology, abandoned in the wild by her father (who wanted a boy), suckled by a mama-bear to survive, was said to have been one of the best hunters alive, was always happy, had "bear like" ferocity and skill, was one of Jason's argonauts, swore and oath to Artemis, killed rapists.
10. Elphaba Thropp - as written by Gregory Maquire in Wicked, not that silly musical.

The woman to be most excited about right now: 
Ellen Johnson Sirleaf - President of Liberia.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!

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Let's talk cars ... math included!

Because why not?

I took my car in to get an oil/lube/filter and tire rotation. $25.00 spent in the preventative care of my car. Money well spent, yes?

I was told that my transmission fluid is a little dirty, and I'll need to get the fluids flushed soon. This is not preventative care, so much as it's more ... urgent care. I was quoted roughly $140 for this little procedure. Which really, as car repairs go, isn't too bad.

At some point, I also need to get one of the hoses replaced in my engine, mainly because it's the factory hose, and soon I'll be running on borrowed time as to when it starts to fall apart. This piece of auto surgery will cost about $350. The part itself only costs about $25 - the labor is the sticky wicket on this venture.

Also, I have a monster crack in my windshield that I've lived with for 5 years. Luckily, it doesn't, nor has it ever impeded my vision while driving. But it's worth a fix-it ticket at least. This is also the 2nd windshield I've had on my car, so I'll be working toward #3 ... replacement windshields cost anywhere from $200-$250 for most small to midsized cars. The cool part, is that you can get companies to come to where you are, pop out your old windshield, and install the new one right there. I've seen it.

So let's tally this up:
$140 transmission fluid flush
350 engine hose replacement
225 replacement windshield (this is the median price, I figure)
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$715 total repairs

So, $715 and my car is as good as new... minus the 71,000 miles it already has on it.

Now, according to Kelly Blue Book, my 2003 Mazda Protege DX with my car's particular specs, would sell for $7,180. That would wipe out my debt AND put a little in my pocket.

Now, subtracting the $715 I would need pay BEFORE I sold my car, I'm really only looking at about $6,465 in profit. Still, not too shabby. My car is also completely paid for, so I don't have to worry about paying off a car loan.

Here's my predicament. Where I'm moving, I'm not really going to need a car. The Southern California megatropolis is one of the few thriving cities that has sub-par (and let's face it), crappy public transportation. LA County is getting better, but the OC really has such little hope. Trust me, friends ... I've seen cities with competent, even ingenious public transportation. It's not a myth!

I have a huge moral dilemma in owning a car. I realize that in living where I live at the moment, I need one. I really do understand that. But in this increasingly maddening climate rise, I cannot justify pumping more carbon emissions into the air than I absolutely need to (I have a similar moral objection to bearing children, but I'll save that for another time). And the only reason I do need to, is because I live here. And in fact, I want to leave. My solution then, seems clear. Sell the car, and go.

My hesitation arises from the "what if?" factor. What if I need to come back to work for a little bit? What if I will actually need a car in Calgary? What if selling my only financial asset at the moment is a bad thing? And so on, and so forth ...

But this is not a time for pragmatic fence-sitting. This is a time to be brave; a time to be bold. I think most of us have, or are now starting to have similar moral objections to the way our world is being treated. Yet we cling to this old dogma of stuff; the mantra that we are nothing without things ... things make us, things define us, things communicate our worth. Hooray for neo-capitalism! I'm actually very low-maintenance when it comes to collecting stuff. Music, DVDs, books; these are typically as far as I go down the road of acquirement. My car is, and has been, my Achilles' Heel in this category.

I've had the long standing belief that cars equate freedom, and liberty; just like Jack Sparrow waxes poetical about The Black Pearl. When I was 16, I was given a great freedom - not just because I passed the driver's test for my license, but because, for the first time in my life, I could dictate where I went, when I went, and didn't need to rely on others for the cargo of my person. This was a really big deal for me, because as a child of divorce, I spent about half of my time in a car with either respective parent. Driving was always such a hassle for them, even though my parents only lived about 35 minutes apart. And the day when I drove my car from my dad's house to my mom's ... on my own ... was possibly one of the top five days of my life, to date. It also doesn't help that my car was a college graduation present from my family. And the amount of memories, road-trips, and friends I've experienced in my car ... I've driven across the country twice. How many people can say they've done that?

What I'm trying to say, is that I have a ridiculous amount of emotional attachment to my car. Independence to an independent person is mother's milk; it's a necessity. I hate asking for rides almost as much as I hate borrowing money. It's simply not in my nature.

But what's more important? My emotional pride in the illusion of providing for myself? Or helping the planet? To me, that's essentially what this dilemma boils down to. What I need to remember is that public transportation is the happy medium in the crux of my problem; I can be independent and get to where I want to go, without sucking down fossil fuels or having a high carbon footprint.

I find this hard to remember, however, in an area where public transportation is treated like a bonus, and not requirement.

And maybe if I can be bold, and cast off my cloak of automobile attachment and dependence, maybe I can inspire others to do the same.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Ghandi is my homeboy.
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This blog post is brought to you by:

The Weakerthans
Brie, salami, and multi-grain cracker finger sandwiches
My car: Trinity

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