The Year of the Bunny!

Hey there - happy 2011! I don't know about you, but this was what my collective being said/expressed/vented as the clock struck midnight, NYE, Mountain Standard Time:

"Oh, thank GOD."

Seriously. 2010 was not a super year. I can't say that it was the worst ever - I don't believe in long-term exaggerations. I know, I know, this is coming from a person who is constantly making up words to express  exaggerations in the first place. My Monkey constantly gets, "I love you the mostest!" And while I'm a person prone to passions, ginormous (see?) emotions, and an epically-scaled soul, I do not allow myself to look at life, time, or any other massively long-term scale in hyperbole.

That being said, 2010 was not kind. In fact, I would go so far as to call it mean; it was a mean year! And not in the rock-critic sense (e.g., "He plays a mean guitar!). I mean MEAN in the original dictionary definition, as an adjective: offensive, selfish, or unaccommodating; nasty; malicious. That essentially sums it up. Is it any wonder, then, that in the Chinese horoscope, 2010 was the year of the Tiger? I like Tigers as much as the next animal rights activist - I love them! But from a very, very far distance.

Now, 2011, again in the Chinese horoscope, falls under the year of the Rabbit. CAN YOU GET MORE OPPOSITE TO A TIGER, THAN A RABBIT??????? NO!!! Exactly! This calls for THE SNOOPY DANCE!!

The year of the Rabbit will theoretically bring luck and safety in the year to come. And so to you, I wish lots and lots of luck and safety.

But why am I so jazzed for this little woodland rodent's approach? I just applied to four graduate schools. This might not sound like a big deal, but it really is. Not only is this a big push for a life change/advancement, but the sense of rejection and dejection I experienced from the 2010 Tiger is still quite present with me. And the last time I applied to a grad school (just one, in that case), I was rejected. Only that was 2007, the year of the Pig. Oinkity bloody oink.

I was in Calgary for two weeks over Christmas and New Years, and in the Calgary Herald a couple of days ago, the paper's astrologist had a half page layout about what the year of the Rabbit was going to mean for me, as an Aries. And, perhaps prophetically, she told me that 2011 was going to be my year - the start to the next new phase of my life, culminating in achieving my career goals by 2018 (she's nothing if not specific). She also told me that I was going to feel like me again, after a year of feeling not at all like myself. She told me that making my move for advancement definitely needed to happen this year, and that my relationship would be fine, so long as my significant other didn't try to stifle my power and flow; I am Aries, here me roar!

Everything I've been reading lately, everything has been screaming at me, exasperatedly, "HOLD ON! It's about to get really, really good!" And I think that for the first time in a long time, I believe it - though more importantly, I'm able to SEE the universe gesticulating madly like an enraged baboon. I think I've just been too caught up, or too buried? Blinders pop up sometimes, out of a necessity to keep one's head down and protected. I've been keeping my head protected, and failing miserably.

Is it cliche to now say that I don't put actual stock in any of this? That is to say, I don't commit to astrology - I don't adhere to it as an absolute way of living my life, much like exaggerations. BUT - and this is a really big but - that doesn't mean that I don't find it informative and highly fascinating. Because I totally do.

While I call Liz my monkey, she calls me her bunny. I know, it's disgusting. This started as a joke after my sister brought home an actual rabbit after her first year at college - all the way from New Jersey. It later turned into a term of endearment that went from annoyingly funny to begrudgingly cute, on my end.

Tomorrow, I leave for a theatre conference in Boulder, Colorado. I sent the last of my grad school applications out a few hours ago. I start a new job next week starting a theatre program at a low-income middle school. But if all else fails, I can't say I didn't try - astrology or no.

Behold: The Year of the Bunny.

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10 Random Things from a Week in my Life

1. I took the bandage off of my toe yesterday. I have a giant hole where skin (and a wart) used to be. No, it doesn't hurt. It's just weird to look at.

2. Remember me blogging about my crazy, fanatical fantasy hockey exploits? I started my own fantasy baseball league. Their are 8 teams in the league. I'm in 7th place. *sigh* Epic fail.

3. I've cried three times this week. The reasons don't matter. But I've had a slight, yet constant dehydration headache. Suck.

4. I don't have a huge thing for Vampire fiction. I read the Twilight series, but for the sole purpose of proving to my sister why it was crappy, rather for my own pleasure. In fact, I was so mortified at the misogyny in book 2, that I threw it across the room, and almost didn't pick it up again, except for a burning stubbornness I had about finishing them. I wish I hadn't. Anyway, that being said, I've started reading the Sookie Stackhouse books by Charlaine Harris. And I like them. It's also my first audio book experience. I'm not sure my auditory skills are very acute - I have to keep back-tracking.

5. Music you should buy now: The Hold Steady's latest album - "Heaven is Whenever" and Bettye LaVette's album - "Interpretations: The British Songbook." The Hold Steady's album is just a gem - I promise you won't regret it. Bettye LaVette's album takes the American Southern Blues inspired songs written by Brits under their rock interpretation, and returns the songs to the origin of their inspiration. It's genius. Get a whiff of this:



Her cover of Led Zeppelin's "All of My Love" is awe-inspiring. Seriously. Do it.

6. As an Aries, I'm not very good at being taken for granted. In fact, I really hate it. I'm also not incredibly good at being patient and waiting for things that I want. I am, usually, very good at making what I want happen, or trying my darndest to make them happen. As a result of all these facts, I've been ridiculously frustrated. Add in some hormones, and oh BOY has it been a party! This has all helped contribute to item #3. My poor, kind girlfriend has had some doozy phone calls this week. I'm sure the sound of me in tears is getting old.

7. As a fairly loyal and enthusiastic sports fan, I feel I should be really excited about the World Cup. I'm not.

8. Things that have made me increasingly happy: my dog, doing just about anything; my girlfriend, by just being who she is; great music, see above; writing the script for the impending benefit; alphabetizing my DVD collection; June gloom and heavy marine layers; HBO shows; the Chicago Blackhawks; the Boston Celtics; the upright citizen's brigade; my trip to Calgary in July.

9. I finally joined Netflix. I'm simultaneously thrilled and disgusted. I might never come out of my room.

10. I'm going to go see Shrek 4 tonight. I've been waiting to see this film since April. The amount of excitement I have over this venture should probably be embarrassing. But it's not.

I hope you all have a very awesome weekend!

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AH! I'm back!

Sorry! I am so sorry ... I've been away forever! I ran away to Canada for three weeks.I know, I know. I didn't call, I didn't write. Such a bad bear I am!

I have a blog to write about marriage - as it's been popping up quite a bit in my furry little life. I also have a music blog to pump out. These are things to look forward to.

Things I'm not looking forward to: memorizing my lines for King Lear. I've been hemming and hawing over this project for months. I NEED to sit down and do it. But some little evil elfkin of procrastination keeps pulling me away to shinier things ... like the massive reorganization of my room which I waged war on all last night. I found the latest Silver Sun Pickup's CD among the debris. Not only do I NOT remember purchasing it, but I have paused at music stores contemplating its purchase (or really, repurchase) at least half a dozen times. When wondering how I could have been so absent-minded, I weighed the possibility of sleep walking (or sleep driving). But I don't think I'm so coordinated as to make it out of that situation alive. Pity.

In other news, while I was away I:

Had my 28th birthday
Saw an actual movie in a theatre with my girlfriend (it was a first!)
Had an informal interview with a graduate school
Sobbed under the influence of Jameson's and a very sincere (albeit drunken) love for my gorgeous girlfriend
Read two novels
Played several games of trivia
Won some money at poker ($2.50 to be exact)
Wrote a script for my theatre company's benefit show
Purchased a new ipod (and some other things; damn you Best Buy!)
Experienced two April snow storms
Had a melt down over the San Jose Sharks (I HATE THEM!)
And am currently getting my ass kicked in Fantasy Baseball

YAR! It be a Polar Bear's life, me furries!

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Blah funky schmeh Aries what?

Last night, I had this brilliant plan of writing an "Epic Tuesday" blog. My friend Lira had a totally Epic Tuesday! Mine was not quite as epic, but it was cool. Good things happened. I wrote an article on Shooter Jennings, and had asked one of Shooter's fans for the free use of a photo for my piece. He graciously agreed, and asked to read my article when it was printed. I sent it to him (after all, it's the least I could do), and this is what he replied with:


Just read your article, and found it very interesting and informational to people who don't know him or his music, thanks for not bashing him for his change in musical style like some others have lately. Great article.
thanks again

Bob M.


Not too shabby, right? I was fairly proud of myself ... especially since this is the first person to read my stuff and give me feedback (on examiner.com - not here) whom I don't know. Don't get me wrong - I am so grateful to have so many supportive people in my life who read what I write AND give me feedback about it. As an Aries, it should be known that I'm a comment whore. We're very enterprising, independent, and courageous people (if I do say so myself); but once we do whatever it is we've been enterprising, independent, and courageous about - we want RECOGNITION. Lots and LOTS of recognition*. It's super great when people we know and love recognize our brilliance. But when people we DON'T know and love leave us comments - it's like a poor kid having Christmas time at a rich kid's house. 


I don't know what that means, but I liked the imagery. 


Anyway. It's an ugly little fact, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the validation I get from people who read my stuff and comment on it. The examiner.com article is great because it's helping me live out my teenager/college freshman fantasy of being a rock journalist for a little-known publication called Rolling Stone. (hey - a girl can dream!) What sucks about it, is that I don't get the kind of traffic I'd like. I was hoping twitter would magically add readership ... but alas ... my twits are being lost in the cyber black hole of social networking. And I only have 10 followers. Four of whom read this blog (which again, I'm SUPER grateful for!). 


Another harsh fact: I suck at networking. It's one of the biggest issues I have with being an actor. While we Aries LOVE the recognition, we don't want to have to fight for it ourselves - we want other people to just naturally recognize how brilliant we are, and then tell everyone they know about us, and then (in our collective dream world) voila! We are an insta-smash! 


Not so, little Aries. Not so. 


Wow. that was a tandem I didn't mean to go on. Sorry.


Anyway - other good things about yesterday - I'm not broke for the first time in over a month. Which means once I pay my bills I'll be able to buy my plane tickets to Calgary. Two months doesn't seem like a long time, but to me, right now, it feels like an eternity. Monkey and I had a nice long chat last night (which always puts me in a better mood), and later I helped my young cousin work out some of the meaning and mayhem of Macbeth over the phone. And after I hung up the phone, I thought, "I'm really good at this. I really am!" And that felt really good.


Another truth about the Aries creatures is that we LOVE being good at things. LOVE. IT. The more competent, helpful, and knowledgeable we are, the more enterprising, independent, and courageous we become. See? It's a cycle. The down-side to this is that we can be really sore losers when we're bad at things - just ask my ex-girlfriend about her attempts to teach me tennis; what a low-point in my development as a human being that was! I won't get into details, but I got so angry with her that I cried. (To my defense, I didn't want to play in the first place, but that's a story for another time....)


I also just accomplished a lot yesterday. I hunted for and found school contacts, I added volunteer dates for SOC on the HandsOn Network, I organized a meeting time and venue for some of my actor friends and I to just start working on things we've always wanted to work on, just to help us all get better and play with one another. I almost helped get a friend a part time job - I was unstoppable yesterday. I was awesome. 


Today is a bit of a different story. Not drastically, not depressingly ... it just is. So I'm entitling today the "Blah funky schmeh Aries what?" 


A cure for the "Blah funy schmeh Aries whats?" is bacon cheeseburgers and shakes with my hetero soul mate. 


And this (which was, coincidentally, sent to me by my hetero soul mate): 





*Except when it comes to Acting...
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This blog post is brought to you by: 


OKGO
Bacon cheeseburgers
NHL Trade Deadlines
Air Canada

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Writing fiend!

In a weird turn of life events ... I'm writing. a lot.

"Not here!" I hear you think (yes, I CAN read minds).

But this will change. I promise. What am I writing?! Grants, blogs, and a column on Indie Music for the Santa Ana volume of examiner.com. I'll update you about the column when I'm all set up. I'm writing a grant to help get SOC some money (I'm also fundraising for them too), and I've created the new GAY RAGE! blog, which will be updated tonight, so a little birdie told me.

That little birdie, is, of course, me.

Anyway, that's what's going on. I'm back in Southern California, and leave in a week to go to Baton Rouge. Yippee!
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This blog post brought to you by:

Orange Juice
The Kings/Ducks hockey game
GMail

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FYI ...

I leave on Tuesday (9/8/09) for Calgary, AB to see my Monkey ... and then on Sept. 14th, I'm flying to Albany, New York....

Polar Bear has a 2 month gig in Western Massachusetts. Hooray! No more 90 degree weather and lack of seasons! (Polar Bears don't do well in 90 degree weather...)

That phone call I had been waiting for finally came.

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Sometimes ...

I've done a really good job of playing by the rules for most of my life. I was always taught that in playing with and through the system, progress would be made; my desires would become a reality. Conversely, I was also taught/shown that if I disobeyed rules, there would be consequences - very severe consequences. Good planning and foresight would get me ahead, impulsion and hasty behavior would get me into trouble.

So I've been living my life dutifully; I prepare my taxes, I (usually) obey traffic laws, I worked hard for good grades, so that I would get into a good university, so that I would have an edge on the job market. Okay, forget for a minute that I'm a theatre artist; I still earned a Bachelor's of Art degree from an upstanding liberal arts college. I have excelled in my work - both career and "day job" alike. I pay my credit card bills, I pay my parking tickets, I pick up litter, I recycle, I stop for pedestrians ... I help old ladies at the super market when they think that I work there, even though I don't.

And yet. As I look at my life in the immediate now - so much of this preparation I've dedicated my life to seems a bit null and void. It's not just this economy, though it certainly doesn't help. I've been increasingly aware that life ... is life. The rules that I've been adhering to matter, but only inasmuch as laws are created to protect me and those around me. I know how to make good, legal choices. But I've been spending so much of the past 5 years waiting for something - an opportunity, a job, a life. And if the past 6 months have taught me anything, it's that life is not to be waited on - it's to be lived.

Sometimes, life requires faith. Yes, I absolutely mean requires. It doesn't need to be a God, or a power, or a universe, though it can be all of that and more. But most importantly, it requires faith in one's self. And if all of this planning and hard work and rule-following has taught me anything - it's that I have no reason not to have faith in myself. I have no reason to think that I won't survive anywhere I go. What I need now, is to go do it.

So that's what I'm going to do. What does that mean? Well ... it means that after I hear from a few different options, I'm going leave Southern California.

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Beginnings.

This is my third attempt to start a blog. The first one I had while living in Massachusetts in 2005; the second on MySpace (which I actually stuck with, on and off, for awhile); and the third while working as an intern at a Theatre Company in 2008. I am not a flaky person. But, as evidence would show, I'm a very flaky blog writer.

I have no great ambition for this, no major theme, except to write my observations about life - specifically, my life - in all of its multitudes. I suppose this is how most blogs start. So there it is.

As for my title, I can only say this: perhaps the most endangered animal in the world, who is losing the very surface they stand on ... what else can they do but sing? And what else can they sing about, but love?

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