Obsessions, big and small ... but mostly big.

I do not have an addictive personality. I do not have compulsive need for things (or substances) - cravings, occasionally - but addictions, no.

What I do have ... are obsessions. I have (largely) illogical, emotional connections to a bizarre array of things. Relationships (mostly fictional), art, books, desserts ... those are the big ones. And when I have a lot of time on my hands, like ... now, I find new things to fill my obsessional void. My current obsession? Grey's Anatomy.

I stopped watching Grey's Anatomy at the beginning of Season 5, when Dr. Erica Hahn (the faboo Brooke Smith), was kicked off the show for not being pretty enough, or nice enough, or something. Dr. Erica Hahn was at the beginning of a relationship with the gorgeous Dr. Calliope Torres (mmmmmmm Sara Ramirez!), the first non-heterosexual relationship for series regulars on the show. And at the time, I thought it was a conspiracy by ABC (and the Disney Corp.) to end lesbian relationships on TV!! Surely, they were behind the lesbian relationship mass extinction. Damn you, Disney! You may have taken part of my soul when I worked for you, but you'll never take away my TV girlfriends!!!

Or, you know, not. Because had I just hung in for 5-6 more episodes beyond the Dr. Erica Hahn debacle, I would have been introduced to Dr. Arizona Robbins, pediatric surgeon extraordinaire, who's not only cute and fabulous with children (she wears heelys!), but is also a lesbian. And the folks at ABC must be satisfied that she's cuter and more personable than Erica Hahn (I'm sorry Brooke Smith ... *I* love you!). So long soap opera story line short, a non-heterosexual representation of Seattle doctors remains. And is one of the few (possibly, only?) lesbian relationships on network TV.

And I've been obsessed with it. I've watched all of seasons 5 & 6 ... twice. In about two weeks. And thanks to ABC.com, I'm all caught up on the beginning of season 7 now, too.

Lara and I had a conversation about this earlier in the year. Some people like Lara, have short fixations, little bursts of excitement that fizzle out as quickly as they pop up. I, on the other hand, tend to get fixated on one thing at a time ... and when I do, it's not a fleeting occurrence - I fixate for life. Examples:

- At 6 years old, my grandfather taped the CBC version of Anne of Green Gables on Beta tapes. I fell in love! I watched those tapes over and over and over ... until I wore them out, about 3 years later. Then my grandfather got fancy and high-tech, bought a cutting-edge VHS player, and Anne of Green Gables on VHS, and then I wore those out, too.

- My grandmother and I used to get chocolate croissants every Sunday after church. Sometimes I could get two. This was a tradition for almost 10 years. I could eat chocolate croissants every day, and be incredibly happy.

- I've had to buy multiple copies of these books because I wore down the binding, and they fell apart:
The Hotel New Hampshire, Sense & Sensibility, Misty of Chincoteague, and Reservation Blues.

- In a word: Xena.

- Fantasy Sports - I spend hours, and hours out of my week obsessing about my Fantasy Sports teams.

These are only a few examples. Sometimes it's a long, slow progression that eventually leads to the assimilation of whatever-it-is into my life, like Grey's Anatomy. Sometimes, it happens all at once - like my discovery of the wonders of hockey. But either way ... sometimes it's the little/big things that get me through the day.

What gets you through the day?